One Down...Three to Go...

So Tuesday, December 2, the day that has long been looming on the horizon is finally here. Today was my Criminal Law Final...let me give you some background leading up to today.

The few days prior to this morning were intensely devoted to studying for my crim final, but there were some bumps and a few emotional breakdowns along the way. Friday, after saying goodbye to my mom who came down for Thanksgiving, the fun started. I spent the majority of that day trying to get my bearings on the information. Saturday is where doubt and desire to flee began to raise it's ugly head. The day started with frustration of not being able to find a good place to study. Finally landing in the "Fishbowl", a glass rotunda over in the undergrad library, I buckled down and dug in. After eight hours of reviewing and studying I left overwhelmed and defeated. On Sunday, the beast of "failure" continued to grow within me. By noon that day, I had justified why I could drop and not take any finals. With that firmly established in my mind, I didn't study all afternoon, enjoying all the tv shows I haven't seen because in law school there is no time for tv!

Well, God has a sense of humor doesn't He? Even though I made it very clear to Him I would be dropping out of law school and working at Starbucks, He let me know otherwise. Sunday evening, I had planned on meeting with my friend Wendy, who has been my mentor and major support over the last couple of months. After confidently laying out my decision to her I was told I would be taking the test. Hmmmmm...I wasn't too happy with that, but in the end Wendy was right. Not only did Wendy set me on the straight and narrow, she graciously devoted her valued time demonstrating to me that I really did know more than I thought I did. So, Sunday evening we spent 5 hours dissecting murder (ick! gross visual!), discussing strict liability and complicity among other things.

Monday, I really felt God's presence as I raced to make up for lost time. For the first time, things started "sticking" in my head to the point that I could finally recall them encouraging me to persevere. Again, Wendy took me under her wing spending her lunch break reviewing with me and helping me a plan of attack for the test. By the time I finished studying on Monday I felt like I would survive the test. No, I didn't feel like I was as prepared as I wanted to be, but worrying over that was a waste of energy and a lack of trust in God's desire to bring me through this adversity strong and wiser.

So...this morning...game on! Time for my first law school final. I got up about 6:30am. For many of you that know me, 6:30am is a time of day I avoid at all costs. Unfortunately, that was not an option today! I left the house by about 7am and headed to The Beanery, a local coffee shop. I spent an hour have a good breakfast (yogurt and granola), drinking coffee, spending time in prayer, reviewing my notes and trying to stay as calm as possible!

I arrived at school at about 8:10am, about 20 minutes before the test. You could feel the tension in the air as the school buzzed with 1Ls darting around attending to last minute details before the test began. Some were oblivious to the world with Ipods blaring in their ears, looking like an athlete before the big game. Others relieved their tension by joking around with friends, many of whom had not seen each other in a long time because all have been in hiding studying. Still others kept themselves busy by hunting for the perfect seat to sit in and take their test. This often required multiple failed attempts of setting up one's computer, setting out all the necessary writing utensils and assess the annoyance level of the students who settled in around them only to discover after all that work that a seat three rows down and five seats to the left look much more attractive...time to pack up, move and start all over again.

Amazingly, the last couple of minutes were filled with cheesy questions...what's my exam number? What class is this? How do I turn the software on? I was a little surprised considering we are all hyper type A personalities with strong tendencies to check, double check and triple check all elements of an objective and which elements could weaken the successful completion of the objective, passing the crim law exam. Apparently a few non type A personalities have slipped into our ranks! Oh, well...variety is good and provides for good pre exam entertainment and distraction.

About two minutes before the start of the test the IT guy came in to make sure we all had access to the exam soft so we could be off and running when the starting gun sounded (well...not a literal starting gun!). He was shortly followed by the exam proctor. After a couple of brief instructions, the clock started to run.

The air in the room was tense and filled with the sound of students ripping into their exam envelopes to extrapolate its contents. Inside the envelope, I found blue books, scratch paper, a pencil (which I wish I would've known it was in there!), scan tron and a twelve page exam...yes 12 pages, which included a 6 or 7 page fact pattern filled with murder, robbery, conspiracy and death. Have to admit, never had quite the amount of entertainment reading an exam in undergrad as I did this one. So, the next three hours flew by as I answered the multiple choice questions (there were only 10) and worked on solving the fact pattern riddle. All in all I am happy...happy the test is over...happy I didn't spend 3 hours staring at a computer screen with nothing to say...quite the contrary...I had too much too say and massively ran out of time.

So, it is a guarantee this final will not grab top paper honors. I am just hoping it garners enough points for me to pass the class. We'll see. It is entirely out of my hands right now and once this blog is posted I will be putting crim law out of my head! Now, it is time for some serious Civil Procedure cramming! That test will be this Friday at 8:30am. Again with the 8:30am. I think they need to make accommodations for the students that aren't morning people! I can already hear their arguments as to why they don't :-)

Finally, I just want to thank people for their prayers. I felt so supported by my family and particularly my Salem Alliance friends, many of whom I don't know, but who have adopted me, kind of like the stray cat that I am. God continues to reflect His love and care for me through others. Ultimately...this little law school project is His gig! I'm just along for the roller coaster of a ride!